i want u so badly.

the past few days, i spent my days in the cafe chatting with dina over boyfriend stuffs and all. it was fun, cause it had been ages since i had such a girl talk. usually i had one with atika, but now shes very busy with school and stuffs and i dont wanna bother her. besides, she already has a boyfriend and i think shes pretty set on setting her future with him so talking about "characteristics of a dream guy" wont be the same. haha. on the other hand dina is single but however i dont think is available anymore now especially shes like on demand at her workplace. :P

so anyways, i have also been doing some serious thinking. about the same topic. k lets face it. ive chatted with ALOT of guys online, mostly i know through social websites. (dont laugh at me -__-) i dont expect much from those guys, except that i treat them as my personal responsive blog. altho it may seem insignificant, i learn alot fr these dudes. seriously. ive encountered alot of different guys. sex maniacs, not good looking at all dudes asking me to be their girlfriend HAHA and good looking dudes who cant get over their ex. Most of the time i end up being their good frens cause i realise im very bubbly and responsive when chatting/texting with them. BUT. im a totally different person in reality. i have a problem communicating with guys. YES, like nerds/geeks out there, i just cant speak properly when im communicating with a guy face to face. Worst still, i have a problem of making eye contacts with the person. and i really hate that! its also annoying that my brain will go on a riot against me by going blank all of a sudden.

And thus, is that why im still boyfriendless till now? lol. i sound like some desperate, but im already 18! i see people changing boyfriends like changing clothes. haha. but is my lack of social reality skills the reason why? or isit because im unattractive? hahaha. gosh, i sound like some emoshit with such a low self esteem.

bt ohwells, i guess i just have to continue on waiting for my knight in shining armour. hopefully not forever!

lotsa love.