Reality is indeed a bitch.
i woke up this morning at 7am with a new vision in life. No dreams, nothing, but it was like as though something significant just happened in my life, and here i am rambling about how i wanna make changes and stuffs. I know its weird, but ive got a good feeling im more motivated than ever about this one. but then again, that can only be judged on face value.
i know its a little too late for ramifications, or new year resolutions, but i still insist on stating them down here. cross your fingers and pray hard for me, cause i hope this aint gonna be like the rest of my thrash talk about changing myself.
- Lose 10kg
- No more shopping UNLESS i get myself a well-paid job where i can feel proud of
- Wala-Wala Cafe Hangout with my peeps
- Catch up with ALL my friends (DAAIFS, primary school friends, AND secondary school friends)
- Celebrate my 19th birthday in peace
- Play the acoustic guitar REAL well
- Update my YouTube account. (as in put more videos inside. im planning on a weblog)
you see, before i came into JC, i already had a life. i was happy, with my cousins and family. I didnt have much friends, the only ones i was really close to was Nurul Atika Nabila and Anggun Kartika Dewi. the rest were just friends that comes and goes.
and then i entered JC and realise many things. i was a total noob before this. i didnt know what blogshopping was, gigs, and i didnt like really listen to much music. and then i met Iffah Khairunnisa who told me about gigs and stuffs. And Elaine Tan who introduced me to blogshopping by chance in the School Library. How pathetic was that? haha. and Dina Malyana who sort of made me a little enthusiastic about school, well, cause she was a 6-pointer. HAHA.
my life changed drastically. i had no time for family at all, i was always studying, if not very exhausted. I keep falling sick, and in turn missing classes, though at times purposely cause i was just too tired. I was diagnosed with many different illnesses, like Stomach Flu or Ulcer, Throat inflammation, and my lungs always had problems. And my sinus got worst.
And then JC life was over, but then i hadnt gotten my results. But i didnt care. I just wanted to enjoy life, meet more people and relive the days i wasted in JC. and i was glad i found a friend who had the same aims, or whatever you call it, as me. Dina, i had alot of fun going down somerset and shopping and stuffs. and i thought i was finally reliving my days, when reality finally struck down un me.
March 5th Friday 2010 came, GCE A Level results day. Although i expected worst, as i was demoralized from having to witness my shitty prelim results, it wasnt as bad as i thought it would be. I managed to pass all, but hell it only gave me a chance to get into Private universities and NTU-NIE. My parents were happy that atleast i qualified for something and i thought maybe teaching was what i was destined to do. and then suddenly Dad came home with news that was such a heartbreaker. He would have to retire in 3 months, and non of us were ready for that. We spent most of our savings supporting our life through the tough times especially during the financial crisis. All of us were still in school then, and money just kept flowing out, never in. Dad's salary was never enough because we had never-ending bills to pay.
i know my resolutions have got nothing to do with my life story. I myself dont know how i ended up retelling them here, but i guess the message i was trying to put across is, although ive promised quite a whole lot of people i would do this and that with them, especially Dina, sorry pal, and my cuzzies, but i guess family comes first and i cant afford to be spending more times outside when i have a whole load of mess to clear, although im sure i wasnt the one who caused it.
No, im not asking for sympathy. But understanding, if that is the right word.
Welcome to the sad life of Nurulasyikin, and here i am once again.
lotsa love.
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